Thursday, March 17, 2011

St Patty's a bitch

Guy 1: Dude, I wanna get high. Just once. JUST ONCE.

Guy 2: No, I'm not gonna let you get addicted.

Guy 1: I don't wanna, like, smoke it all the time. But I, like, wanna get high. Just ONCE.

Guy 2: Ok, but I'm not gonna let you get addicted.


Guy 2: I'm your friend, I'm not gonna let you get addicted. I would expect the same from you.

Guy 1: I wanna get high!



Girl 1: It broke again. It broked more.

Girl 5: Aren't I so good sex right now?

Guys 1&2: We are cool and fighting!

Girl 3: You two can't fight because I LOVE YOU BOTH, Cedric.

Girl 4: Haha, I dropped my phone again!

Fuck you, Saint Patrick's Day. Fuck. You.

They come in shifts. When one drunk group drifts drunkenly away, another, rowdier bunch takes its place. The girls are inevitably drunk and desperate for attention. The guys are inevitably high out of their tiny brains with delusions of manly prowess. They all stand outside my window, bragging about how drunk and horny they are.

I've given up on wishing these people away. If I wake up tomorrow morning and the space outside my window hasn't been vomited or urinated upon, littered with remains of joints, or set on fire, I'll count my blessings.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Have dinosaur, will doodle

I have this weird habit where I doodle dinosaurs on all my test papers. Well, usually just one dinosaur per test. Dinosaurs can be super territorial, or so movies would lead me to believe.

As someone who used to be a perfectionist, I feel like I owe instructors something when I feel like I didn't do so well on an exam, or even if I do feel pretty good about it but fear the possibility that I'm completely off my rocker and accidentally read all the questiosn backwards. So I draw them a dinosaur. Not an outrageously accurate one. Most of the time I don't even shade. I'm almost sure no actual dinosaur ever looked as lumpy or apologetic as my dinosaurs turn out. But it feels like I'm writing my own extra credit question and answering it correctly.

Draw a dinosaur for extra credit.


I have not yet collected conclusive evidence that the inclusion of a dinosaur doodle improves my test grades. There's even the marginal possibility that I'd do better if I used my dinosaur doodling time to review my answers one more time or attempt to properly answer questions that I BS'd the first time through due to utter cluelessness. But for now, I am going to operate under the assumption that these dinosaurs are awesome and they put a smile on graders' faces and convince them to be a little more forgiving when they're marking my test papers.