So I was going to share the rest of the epic adventures with the ants and the roommate's dirty bowl that lives on the counter and how that week just sort of sucked and all the awful hole digging that went along with it. Like, literal hole digging. They dug a huge hole right outside of my pitiful window which is barely an inch off the ground and it sort of matched the hole that they smashed into my wall.
And then the pest guy came in as requested and lectured me on ants for approximately half an hour before getting on his hands and knees and smacking the shit out of those little fuckers with his bare hands. Because he's a professional. This is how professionals do shit, y'all.
I don't actually say "y'all" in real life. Unless I'm drunk. And I misspell it most of the time, even in sobriety.
And then my computer got one of those awful fake anti-virus bugs that hijacked my browsers and tried to convince me that I needed to download their fake software and give them my personal information. I had to call up my dad so he could look up the quick fix online and subsequently spent a full hour trying to restart my laptop in safe mode. My laptop's row of function keys is fucked up. You have to press Fn and the function key simultaneously to get the F1 thru F12. Otherwise the keys do things like mute and increase screen brightness, which is actually super useful, but less awesome when the laptop is new and you're not used to this newfangled "user friendly" shit. Since to restart in safe mode, you have to press F8, this was a serious headache until I figured out how it worked.
Quick tangent here: Why is it that every time I press "enter" to start a new paragraph in the blogger composing window, the cursor looks like it's jumped up to the previous paragraph even though it's where it actually should be? It's confusing and stupid.
And then things got slightly better, then slightly worse, and then better again. I totally had a more recent, relevant point to bring up when I started this post but now I've lost it while reminiscing on the past month. Whatever, no one's reading but me. No worries here.
Which means that if I wanted to give all my readers a hug, I'd be hugging myself. That would be awkward and super emo. No thanks.